It's an errie strange world out here.To be completly truthful, all i want to do is be myself, the friends i hang with and the subjects im taking and my family, all a bit too much for me.Well the good thing is that i have come with a plan on how my route to eductational success will be.I'm going to drop english , if i get a c im all good and im taking up photography and textiles if it clashes im taking photography in green school.
My sister keeps stealing from me, but not for long since im getting a lock and im going to show her who is boss rounf here, and im decorating my room since autumns nearly here and i want to be comfortable in my own life right now you know. i feel its the best bet for me now.Im skipping class because english stresses me out and i really cant deal with it, i feel targeted out and not heard and i know that later on in life its going to be that way but i really dont want feel traped into something that really isn't for me, i belive that teachers aren't capable of doing anything for me , because there job is basically giving priority to white people and cristians and not anyone like me , Sabrina.
I watch jane by design and she gives me some confidence in my life, it's kind of refreshing that she is a unpopular yet she can be herself with out conforming to anything.Over the years i have met a range of people and the ones that seemed to repeat themselves were usually people indenial with themselves.I dont want to be that way, confession, im lonely, i have self hatred issues and i feel like if i die today no one will ever no i exsisted, and i feel that i have to be someon eother than myself to fit in anywhere because people tend to dislike me, im kept to myself and perserved alot and its like i can never be me , and liked for that.Thats why lifes been so difficult at school, you fall into the wrong group and its hard to get back up most of the time.
i Wanna to live, not really survive ...but i wont give up this dream, that keeps me alive
i wanna be free, i wanna be free .
what is my dream, i looove to dance but thats haraam,
i loove the fashion business but thats harram
sometimes i feel as though ...if life was spent not enjoying, what if we just goign into eternal punishment from there. im human, so bare with me.
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