Awkward just got a new name ..

Where do i begin this little hysteria i believe that i will start with the most embaressing

Well the fact that 20 different ladies were pulling me around the place like an ideiot and the fact that i smelt like sweat was mostly embaressing and last but not least the fact that they forced me to hold the fucking guys hand i was like whaaaaaaaaat the fuck do you take me for , and he was like wha the fuck himself ,

It was just so embaressing and i really wonder why i get into those awkward positions, like hat the hell, like this put me off ever being with anyone, i actually know that i want to be single.

And the fact that my sis kept repeating that i'm ugly, staple be with it. oh no...those not enough room for your little comments because is already full up on my own ugly comments, lost.i know.

You know something, i dont ever think anyone could love me or like me ....i can be amazing, i could light up some guys world , i could make him wish he were with me every moment, but the confident side of my persona has taken such a toll since 2009, and i really dont know how i am, im a dreamer,
a girl who just wants to be loved, and wants to be held and told that im beautiful with meaningful eyes and told that i was just dreaming and that i wasnt ever depressed and that im out going .i wish with al my heart that this life was a story told and not mine to live .

no, there isnt a place in my heart because my heart is gone, over the years it was breaking apart until it was all gone, i feel as though people are repulsed by me, im not going to stop being fashionable but i dont think im going to act like i am anything special because its soooooooooooo difficult to like myself when i have so many people telling me different things ...they have this look on there face like they know im ugly but they dont want to tell me, and i think the look they give me is the most painful of all, because they actually think im ugly enough not handle the truth, i can handle it.i think.

im done with asking myself what i want because there is no point of it, 
but right now i want to wear a pretty dress, have my memory whipped clean and go to portablello and camden and just have so much , try things on with a guy best friend and just live...
get a really fruity juice ,just live .




we could run through the city and have such a blast and so much fun.

and im university and when i go back to my apartment everything is just the way i want it,
ith my cat and two best friends :D




  i would sleep in here with my cat sookie and i would just rest my butt off
my heart is broken , and i can feel it, its hurts knowing you'll never be loved




sookie! <3


to be quiet honest, i think im going to be lonely for quiet sometime, no one ask me out and even if they do i'll just turn them away,what can i
 do.Forever alone i guess, relieve exists when i don't exist at all.

i will surely have my trusty cat by my side so we can tackle everything together, if i do end up living alone i might get two cats , dunno, and if i don't get married i might adopt a baby girl.
I wanna be in love with only you, i watch the sky turn grey then blue .