My mother is fucking hilarious, she is controlling my life and i feel like i have no were to go ...i have no motivation in life and i want to do well i really do, but i feel like any attempt i make crashes in my face ...i'm afraid to pick myself up because when i do, something happens and its just silly. My exams are next month and i really want to do something and revise my hardest but i sickenly hate my family whenever they are around i just fucking hate it .Im the sort of person that likes to be alone ...or with people who are respective of me but this family shouts all the time and it is distacting . The only thing that takes me away from reality is my tv shows vamp diaries and secret circle, but even they cant get me to live life .There isn't anyone i can go to because they just tell me that im crazy or im doing it to myself ...because when i explain my pronlem it doesnt sound right until you see it .My mother. she is narcissistic really, and i just want her gone ...i honestly think that if i had motivation in this life then i would really succeed but right now, i feel alone ...really alone .Like everyday i wake up and do the same thing ...and its annoying ...my life is becoming more like mothers everyday and it is true that saying...' when you live with a bad person long enough you start to act like them' and i really hate it ...i dont want to be her ...i ant to go out have fun with my life ,get a job LIVEEEE for god sake...i wanna fucking live be happy and just do carzy exciting things with my life but i cant because im held back because of the fear of her..when will she take that little moment of happiness away..today...or the day i decide to live ... 
