Breathing comes difficult

why can't i seem to concentate, in anything not at school, at home nothing, and my misery is slowly making its way back, to me. it never goes away, but it could with trhe elimination of the actaul problem ofcourse. and in my case my problem never leaves, i am faced with awkward situation were things dont seem real, every situation i am faced with seems to back fire on me, somehow. and i just dont have a clue whether i want to become better on not , with i really want to be that schoolatic girl, because i dont know who she is anymore, i feel like blanche from streetcar , insanity is seeping its way at me and to have anyone tell me that im seeing things differently would be the brink of the ice, or is the brink of the ice ...really loosing myself to hell, brcuse if ...